Why Am I Obsessed With Drugs and Addiction?

Question by Random: Why am I obsessed with drugs and addiction?
I keep wanting to try drugs and then never stop.
I know I have an addictive personality so it isn’t that I think I won’t end up addicted, I honestly believe I will, maybe it’s unavoidable.
I don’t want to end up at an abusive dead end in life and I don’t want to hurt my loving family.
However, no matter what I do, I always want to get high.
When I’m upset, bored, when I need it to cope, even though I don’t know with what, to have fun or either as motivation or reward.
When I’m hyper or happy I want to do drugs because being hyper or happy isn’t enough for me I want more of it.
I have not even tried the drugs I want, but I want to use them and as soon as I come down get high again.
I want to live every day all day like a saturday night and I keep listening to songs about self destruction and I usually love songs as long as I think they’re about drugs.
I know that no matter how many stories or PSA’s I see or songs I hear made by addicts or recovering addicts I still won’t even come close to being able to understand how awful it is so I know I’m foolish.
I know when I’m an adult even if I was rich I would spend more money on clothes, accessories, music and drugs than on food and things I need.
I’m a 15 year old girl and the only drug I have ever tried was Dxm and I loved it, I ended up craving it for almost a year later and ended up cutting myself to get rid of cravings, I worked out an alibi and perfect excuses in order to get it one time because my parents knew I abused it when I was 13 and I got it, but got a crappy brand, but I used it anyways and over half of the bottle of cough syrup was gone before I was initially planning to use it.
I even got addicted to diet coke, I never drink any other pop because diet pepsi caused my mother’s kidney stones, and ever non diet soda I hate because it’s got sugar in it, I taste the difference and feel the difference, it’s gross.
Because of those things I think I have an addictive personality, but why would I want to be an addict?

Best answer:

Answer by Noelle
No one wants to be an addict – but sometimes that’s just the hand we were dealt. If you’re an addict then you’ll always be an addict. Addiction is actually a disease. Addicts basically have a light switch that turns on when we put substances into our body – it creates the phenomena of craving (which it sounds like you may have). I can TOTALLY relate to what you’re saying. When I’m down I need drugs to make me feel better, when I’m hyper I need drugs to calm me down, when I’m happy I need drugs to make me happier. The good news is that you don’t have to live like this forever. There is a solution. Trust me, I found it. Being an addict is not the end of the world – it’s actually the best thing that has ever happened to me – it has introduced me to so many amazing people and experiences. I wish you only the best! Please feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to.

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